AK 2024: Felt Like Going Home

For some reason, writing a post about the trip we took to Alaska last summer has been difficult for me. I began writing this in August and it’s been an open tab on my computer for months. My natural inclination would be to share about the many things we did during our two week visit, including the people we saw and places visited. However, that doesn’t feel like what my brain wants to focus on. The words that have started to form in my mind are of a different train of thought. Trust me, I am fully aware that as the author of this post, I can literally write whatever I want. However, as a “creative”, it is more that I need to follow the thoughts that are forming in my head when I think about a post versus writing what I thought I set out to write about. On this one, I’m just going to give in and follow the thoughts and I guess we’ll see where that takes us. 

When I left Alaska in the summer of 2018, I had no idea when I would return again. Due to the increased expenses of traveling to the villages, especially as a non-resident, I knew that it would be unlikely to make it back to my “home” in Nondalton in the near future. With that said, my intentions were to return to Anchorage sooner than later, ideally pairing it with one of Sam’s work trips (he still works for the district and visits the state about 3 times per year). However, life has a way of happening and year after year something else has taken priority over a trip back. When 2024 arrived we set the intention that this would be the year of our return to Alaska, especially wanting to take advantage of Ruth being able to fly free. Having left as a newly married couple with our sweet village pup, we would be returning as a family of four (with our now 2 dogs enjoying some time away from poking and prodding toddlers at Grandpa and Mom-Mom’s). 

I think the difficulty in this post herein lies with what the return to the state was for us, for me. Once Sam and I began to set down roots in Pennsylvania, we started to miss the lifestyle we had in Alaska; the people, the scenery, the slower and less pressured rhythms of life. Every now and again during those first few years, we would envision what it could look like to move back, but always in a “down the road when the currently imaginary kids are grown” kind of way. Once Benjamin was born, however, those talks seemed to become a little more frequent and in depth. Then, with Ruth’s birth, the talks became more realistic, adding pro and con lists to the mix. Sam has traveled to the state many times over the last six years, and falls in love with it more and more each time. I, however, hadn’t been back in years and also not since becoming a mother. What if what I was feeling was a yearning for what once had been instead of a realistic desire for what could be? We decided that a trip back would allow us both an epic family adventure and a realistic feel for whether or not the conversations should be continued about a more near-future return or tabled for a later stage in life. 

    Shortly after we moved to Pennsylvania, I read The Great Alone by Kristin Hannah, a book set in rural Alaska. One quote in the book stuck out and continues to enter my memory every now and again, even 6 years after reading. The quote reads, “Alaska doesn’t attract many; most are too tame to handle life up here. But when she gets her hooks in you, she digs deep and holds on, and you become hers. Wild. A lover of cruel beauty and splendid isolation. And God help you, you can’t live anywhere else.” (Hannah). That quote came to mind as we began our descent into Anchorage. Alaska most certainly dug deep and held on to me all these years. I sobbed as familiar mountain ranges and sights came into view (“you’re ugly crying”- Sam). What a cathartic release it was to just let the tears flow as I embraced the emotions as they washed over me. I was back home. After all, it was just last week that I left the state..right? Truly, touching down on the runway was like returning home after a long vacation. Everything in me ached for us to then go to the local air taxi and hop a flight back down to Nondalton. So many people and places I loved dearly were so close and yet still so far away.

Alas, I was grateful for any moment in the state I could get and was chomping at the bit to get out of the airport so the fresh crisp air could hit my skin and for clean air to fill my lungs (that happened a little further down the road from the smelly airport). To be honest, after a direct seven hour flight with two toddlers, one of whom was a lap infant, I was also just thrilled to be off the plane. They did so well, but after seven hours, even adults get squirrely. While it was all so beautifully familiar, it was also deliciously new as I got to witness my babies experiencing it all for the first time. From the majestic sights to the crisp unpolluted air, running barefoot in the dirt to bundling up to play in the snow, hours (and hours) spent driving throughout the state, lots of playground time, seeing wildlife up close and soaking up time with loved ones, my children thrived. 

At the end of this post, I am going to share some form of list of our activities over the two weeks. In addition, if you scroll through my Facebook feed to June 2024, you’ll see a few photo posts documenting our adventures. However, I’m not going to journal our excursions as I typically would in a blog entry. Something about this trip feels a little too sacred to want to share all the ins and outs of. Don’t worry though, I have thoroughly journaled it for myself and in each of Benji and Ru’s adventure journals. 

In a brief summary of our time..I cried, a lot; all the tears. I hugged people I’ve missed terribly and spent time with some dear friends. I introduced my babies to people and places that I love. My husband and I once again traversed routes that we traveled in our dating days. Sam and I spent hours daydreaming, communicating, and setting intentions to continue to do what is best for our family. We packed our time in ways that only Alaska’s long spring days can offer while also having the ability to slow it down since we were there for two weeks. Old friends opened their home to us on multiple occasions and treated us like family. Benji, of his own accord, was calling one of our friends “uncle” within hours of knowing him. Thanks to those family-like friends telling us to ditch one of our airbnb reservations and taking us in, I solo parented with relative ease on the days Sam had to work and again as he and a coworker took a long weekend work trip. 

Another memory for me is frequenting many of the coffee trailers that Alaska is known for and spending time sipping coffee and just staring at God’s creation, in awe of His handiwork. I was able to journal and spend time in prayer while also leaning into some strategies I’ve learned in therapy to process some different life events that occurred during my time in Alaska.  I reflect now how beautiful it was to be able to go back and have the opportunity to visit a place as this version of myself and healthily confront some difficult memories and emotions. What a blessing it was to reach a space of peace and bring new layers of healing for my mind and body. 

Our vacation was everything we could have hoped it to be and so much more. There were a few friends we didn’t get to cross paths with (K.C. I’m sure going to squeeze you tight when I get to see you again my friend) and I’d have loved even just a few hours in Nondalton, but our trip was a whole lot of soul medicine. We were met with beautiful weather and the opportunity to participate in some core memory adventures. Sam and I both got to witness new sights with our trip to Exit Glacier in Seward and in our overnight trip to Homer. The slow pace, small town feel, and easy sense of community everywhere we went reminded us of the importance in deciding the way we want to raise our children. We left with full hearts and refreshed souls, knowing that Alaska still remains at the top of our “where to live” list. I don’t know what the future holds or where our family will end up, but we are all very much looking forward to our next trip back to “Awaska”. 

Daily Activities and Noteworthy Noms:

*Not including names of who we were with in an effort to keep concise and helpful in case anyone is planning a trip and wants destinations/recommendations!*

Day 1: Direct flight to Anchorage from Newark; Airbnb-Butte 

Day 2: Reindeer Farm-Palmer; Valley of the Moon Park-Anchorage; Moose’s Tooth Pizza-Anchorage; Airbnb-Butte 

Day 3: Thunderbird Falls Hike-Chugiak; Loretta French Park-Chugiak; Xalos Burritos Express-Anchorage; Airbnb-Butte 

Day 4: Earthquake Park, Anchorage (very short trip due to immediate bear encounter!); Cabelas- Anchorage; Palmer Family Park-Palmer; Reuben Haus Food Truck- Palmer; Airbnb-Butte 

Day 5: Vagabond Blues- Palmer (ginormous cinnamon buns); Palmer Family Park-Palmer; Picnic Dinner @Matanuska River Park- Palmer; Airbnb-Butte 

Day 6: Friday Fling- Palmer; Visited and stayed with friends- Palmer 

Day 7: Dimond Center Mall- Anchorage; Cabelas- Anchorage; South Anchorage Sports Park- Anchorage; Stayed with friends- Palmer 

Day 8: Church @Summit Worship Center- Wasilla; Dinner Picnic @Palmer Family Park-Palmer; Stayed with friends- Palmer 

Day 9: Watching train pass through Wasilla Train Depot- Wasilla; Whittier Train Tunnel and Walking Tour of Whittier (with a friend who lived there); Drove to Seward; Airbnb- Seward 

Day 10: Exit Glacier- Kenai Fjords National Park- Seward; Sealife Center- Seward; Highliner Restaurant- Seward; Drove to Homer; stayed with friends-Homer

Day 11: Homer Spit- Homer; Shopping- Soldotna; Wildlife Conservation Center- Girdwood; Rasing Cane's- Anchorage; House-sat for friends- Palmer

Day 12: Reflections Lake- Palmer; Bodenburg Butte Trail Hike-Palmer; Big Dipper Homemade Ice Cream- Palmer;  House-sat for friends- Palmer

Day 13: Hatcher Pass & Independence Mine State Park- Palmer; Colony Days- Palmer; House-sat for friends- Palmer

Day 14: Colony Days Parade- Palmer; Reuben Haus Food Truck- Palmer; Red eye direct flight from Anchorage to Newark 

Works Cited

Hannah, Kristin. The Great Alone. St. Martin’s Press, 2018.