Sunday, November 12, 2017

October Month

Momma and Papa Scheer! 
As I walked into the kitchen last week to heat up my coffee, our school cook looked to me and said “November month already?!”. Our shared disbelief at the passing of time led to some laughter and ended with me leaving the kitchen wondering where the past month had gone. Seemingly the same as September, October was jam packed with activities, and therefore it passed me by in the blink of an eye. The more I blog, the more I come to realize that I feel the same way after each month. It’s interesting how in childhood months and years lasted forever, but now as an adult it is as if I can’t make the days last long enough. Alright, if I think about it too much, I get down the rabbit hole that reminds me that I started college 8 years ago, and that thought is beyond comprehension right now. So as I tell my kids, let’s focus on one month at a time. 

We got our first snow! 
One of the best parts of October happened at the beginning of the month, when on a very windy Sunday afternoon, our friends Pam and Ken flew in for a visit. Truth be told, Sam and I were shocked that the air taxi was even flying that day. As we watched their plane come in, I was in a state of sheer panic thinking of how awful Pam and Ken would be feeling. It was by far the windiest and bumpiest landing I have ever witnessed, and I could imagine how the turbulence felt as they bounced down onto the runway. Yet, as I prepared to comfort Pam and Ken as they got off the plane, the door to the plane opened and they emerged with ear to ear grins. They didn’t have experience on such small planes and had been flying with an incredibly skilled pilot, so for them it was a grand adventure. I was thrilled to see that they were not as panicked as I had been. With that, they had officially gotten a taste for bush flying, and had loved every second of it! 

As Pam and Ken had been visiting our friends who live in Chignik Bay, another village within our district, we spent time catching up and hearing about their week of adventures. Then, over the next week, we spent every minute that we could getting outside when the weather allowed, having Pam and Ken visit with students, playing games, and simply soaking up every second of our time with them. It was such a refreshing taste of home, and such a comforting parental presence. When you are so far away from all of your family and loved ones, it is so comforting to have the hugs and conversations of parents, even for a too short amount of time. 

Flying to Igiugig
The best part of the visit was being able to show Pam and Ken places that we had visited and things that we had done with their son, our friend, Ryan when he had visited us two years ago. For those not close to me or for those new to my blog, Ryan passed away only two months after his visit. Ryan’s Alaska trip was one of his last great adventures before his passing. It meant so much to me that we could provide his parents with a closer connection to Ryan and to give them some of the same experiences that Ryan had had during his time with us. I also valued the time to get to know Pam and Ken better, as we have continued to strengthen our relationship with them after Ryan’s passing. Pam is often one of my greatest supporters and sources of encouragement in my day to day life. Being able to spend a week with the two of them is something I will forever be grateful for. Though their time with us seemed too short, I was excited to be able to send a piece of Alaska back with them. 

This fall, the students in one of my reading groups completed a Flat Stanley novel study. Stanley is a boy who becomes flattened and is then able to go on many adventures by being mailed in an envelope. Each of my students created their own Stanley and thanks to incredible support from friends on Facebook, I set up a series of adventures for each Stanley. Though I mailed two of the Stanley’s out to their first recipients, Pam and Ken were able to meet the owner of their Stanley and then to begin Kate’s (the name of my student’s Stanley) adventures from Alaska. I have received quite a few pictures of Kate and the other two Stanleys as they adventure across the country and even out of the country. My students and I are so excited about this project and as each Stanley travels with a journal, we can’t wait to read about their adventures when they come back home to us! 
Pedro Bay

After Pam and Ken left us, I had about one day to get ready before my monthly visit to Igiugig which would lead into our district-wide October inservice in Naknek. The Sunday that I flew to Igiugig was a gorgeous day and I was able to land in Pedro Bay, a village I had never flown into before. My visit to Igiugig was productive and rather uneventful, and then before I knew it, I was on a plane to Naknek. I spent the rest of the week going through collaborative and informative sessions and more importantly spending time with all of my coworkers and friends that I don’t often see. I had so many soul filling conversations and again, I soaked up every second of the visits that I could. It’s important to fill up on these encounters and then look back on them to help you through the coldest and darkest days of winter. 

Cessna checking out her new home!
Unfortunately, during the last two days of the week, I was sick with an awful stomach bug. I wanted nothing more than to be home in my own bed, but I tried to continue on with my inservice workload. Thankfully, the friends I was surrounded by were sure to force me to get rest and help me with some of my responsibilities. Caitlin even attended a 3 hour session that I was leading the last morning of inservice, ready to step in should I need to escape. Fortunately, Sam had stocked me up with ginger-ale and saltines and I was able to power through the session. We were set to fly home that afternoon and I was concerned about getting sick on the plane. However, my ability to nap anywhere kicked in and I slept almost the entire flight home. Surprisingly, I woke up feeling better than I had in days. Witnessing the sicknesses that have gone on in and out of school this fall, I felt lucky to have just a 48-hour bug. 

Shortly after getting home, Sam and I hopped into the boat and went down to fish camp to pick up our puppy! I was over the moon with excitement to be bringing Cessna home. She was eight weeks old and the cutest little pup I had ever seen. I may be biased, but she sure does get cuter with every passing hour. We have had Cessna home for three weeks now, and I can’t imagine life without her. She provides Sam and I with so many laughs, is the best at cuddling, and she sure keeps us busy! I am pretty much obsessed with my sweet pup and being a fur momma is by far my favorite job ever. 

Our little family<3 
Once Cessna came home, the rest of October passed me by in a blur of lesson planning, school, class assignments, projects, and puppy raising. Now, with only four weeks of grad school classes and 25 school days until the end of the semester, there is a light at the end of this busy tunnel. I am looking forward to the winter break and all the naps and book reading it will bring with it. Sam and I have been becoming more and more excited for the trip to Anchorage we will take at the end of December. Though I have been craving Dunkin’ Donuts coffee, Alaska has yet to jump on the Dunkin’ bandwagon, so I will gladly drink some Starbucks as I wander the aisles of Target. Ah, there I go again jumping ahead in time. Time to focus on the rest of November and stop procrastinating on a homework assignment that I am supposed to be working on as I type this… 

Sunday, October 1, 2017

So Long, September

I <3 tundra walks
Hello October, where did you come from? This is a real question I asked my calendar today as I turned the page and looked at a new month before me. September passed by quickly and without pause. I was busy in college, student teaching was tiring, my first years of teaching have tested and exhausted me, but nothing compares to this year’s workload. I made sure to give myself time today to slow down and take a break from work to reflect on this past month. 

My first sock-eye salmon! 
Without boring anyone with specifics, I’ll just say that my days are spent working from sun up to sun down, and then even later. Between teaching, ensuring my Sp.Ed. paperwork is done "just right”, completing classwork, logging on for class, and squeezing in after school projects to meet internship requirements, my days fly by. I can’t complain too much because the days really do pass me by and suddenly I get a 2 day “break”. However, I want a few more hours each day;  just a little bit more time to spend with Sam, to walk with Caitlin and Emily, to plan my wedding, or to read a book. Granted, if the days keep going by so quickly, June 29th will be here before I know it and I will get a break in the chaos when I graduate from my program. 


Flying over my house!
In trying to find a work-school-life balance, I have put aside time each day, even if not as much as I’d like, for me- or we-time. September brought blueberry picking adventures, fishing, long walks, game nights, and day trips to visit friends in Newhalen. It was also the month that Sam and I got to meet our fur baby, Cessna, and to watch her begin to grow. I got to help process a moose with community members and make my first monthly site visit to Igiugig. I traveled to Naknek with the cross country team where I got to visit with coworkers and cheer on all the runners from the district. I have gotten to love on my friend’s little babes and experience as other close friends grow their own tiny humans (p.s. what a crazy miracle that is!). Amidst all the work, September brought with it some great memories. 

As I talked on the phone with Shawnee this afternoon, we caught up on all that happened in the month since we had last talked. We discussed the wedding of a close friend that I had been unable to attend and the wedding of my cousin which is another event I was not able to make. They both wed on the same weekend, and Sam or Caitlin could tell you that this was a difficult weekend for me. I would be lying if I said I didn’t spend part of it wallowing in bed. My dad tells me I’m making big kid decisions in not blowing through my savings to attend all of these celebrations. But Dad, I don’t want to make big kid decisions… 

Though I love life in Alaska, I have always faced feelings of longing to be home. Yet at the same time, I have built a home for myself here in Alaska. Sam and I have no clue where our next chapter in life will take us or when our next move will be, but we make sure to keep talking about it together. In working towards our future, those dreaded adult decisions have to be made. Decisions such as not attending two other important weddings this fall or even traveling home for Christmas break. Traveling between my village and the east coast is not pocket change, and this year I have had to make hard decisions in order to work towards a financially stable future (dang you adulthood!). I have to keep reassuring myself that I am making these choices not just based on finances, but also my health. Weekend trips to different time zones are physically and mentally exhausting, as are the 2 week long winter trips in which I am constantly driving to visit people. This year I need to do what is best for me, even if I don’t love the choices I have to make in order to do so. Future Paige will thank me when she starts the spring semester well rested. 
This morning's Six Mile sunrise<3 

Before hanging up, Shawnee and I once again promised that we wouldn’t let so much time pass before our next phone call. What I value most in a friendship is when weeks or months can pass by without in depth conversations, but when you do get time to catch up, it is as if no time has passed. These are the relationships that help me get through the hard parts of my Alaskan adventure.

Some other things that help are visitors! I am so excited for the arrival of this year’s first set of visitors who are set to fly in next week. The parents of our close friend Ryan are flying to Alaska as I type this. It seems like yesterday that we were sitting in Pam and Ken’s living room helping them to set up their travel plans. They will spend a week with friends who live in one of LPSD’s southern villages before flying to Nondalton next weekend. I hope the weather cooperates during their visit and that we are able to enjoy lots of adventures while they are here! In order for that to happen though, I need to get back to work...

Happy October! 

P.S. For anyone looking for an adventure.. I have a lakefront apartment with a killer view, and a guest room that is ready for guests! 

Thursday, August 31, 2017

Jumping in Feet First

Soaking up the Florida sun! 
Though I got plenty of rest during my stay in Florida, the beginning of the school year already has me running on fumes. Teacher inservice began Monday, my first class of the fall semester began last night, and students start on Tuesday. This year, I am going to be teaching a new reading curriculum, using a new grading software, taking over a new caseload while traveling to a new school site for my itinerant work, and adjusting to a new school calendar. This last change involves having less time in the school year and yet being asked to ensure the same, if not more, student progress than with our longer school year. On top of that, I have to work 300 internship hours outside of the classroom throughout this shortened year, attend online classes, and complete associated coursework. Oh, and I need to squeeze in wedding planning somewhere along the way… 

1st day of work gift
from my new principal<3
Let’s just say that reality hit me yesterday and I am trying my best not to panic too much.. I find comfort in knowing that my support system is looking stronger than ever. Last year was a rocky one to say the least, but this school year is already proving to be a fresh start. My new principal has been very sweet and helpful, while our new elementary teacher has already become a strong addition to our staff. He and I will be working closely as we will share students who are on my caseload, and I am excited for the potential this has for our students as well as my own personal and professional growth. As always, the returning teachers at my site continue to be strong leaders, teachers, colleagues, and friends. I can’t forget to mention my sweet fiancĂ© who drops everything when I need a sounding board or help of any kind, family members who are obligated to listen to my woes and triumphs, friends from home, my Alaska family, and the colleagues in my cohort. I am also surrounded by experienced teachers and school staff who are always willing to share their tricks of the trade. 
My view is as great as ever!
When I look at the list of the big changes and projects this year and then think of my support system, I know that it will all work out. If there is one thing I have learned, it is that no one can do everything on their own. Looking at my support system, I know that I am not on my own, and therefore I am confident. I am tired. I am overwhelmed. I am feeling stressed. But I am also excited to see my students. I am eager to work closely with and learn from an experienced teacher. I am feeling hopeful that this year will bring more laughs than last year brought tears. I am going to do my best to remain positive throughout the year and to not allow setbacks to weigh me down the way they have in the past. Every day brings with it a new set of experiences, so I am going to do my best to continue to step outside of my comfort zones and face each new day with an open mind.  

A "Ryan" rainbow,
showing support from above<3 
Whether you comment on my posts, reach out to me about them in any way, or are just a number on my page view screen, know that you are part of my support system as well. My blog is my safe place to be open and honest about the good, the great, the bag, and the ugly going on in my life. While I will try to keep my updates to the good and the great, we all know that a lot of bad and ugly can happen in our lives. Please bear with me as I continue this journey, try to find a work-school-life balance this year, and also try to figure out this adulting thing!  

Friday, August 4, 2017

Juneau, Truneau, and Turning 25

2 humpback whales
This morning, after a week of recovery, I finally felt ready to open up my notepad and work on this blog post. My month in Juneau included a lot of computer time and papers written, so I needed to step away from the keyboard for a little while. However, I did promise at the beginning of the summer to be better about my posts, so here it goes.. 

A view from the trail to class
(on one of our sunny days)
My month in Juneau was not quite what I expected it to be. First of all, I never envisioned having a twenty minute round-trip walk to class every day (often twice a day). Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love to walk, the trail was beautiful, and I had dreams of running up and down the grueling hill in order to feel the endorphin rush at the end. However, post-surgery Paige was not expecting this hill and there were many times when my roommates had to wait as I readjusted after my hip locked up halfway up the hill. Don’t worry, I spoke with my physical therapist, and it simply has to do with adding in new ranges of motion to my recovery. By the end of the month, I’d gotten myself into a groove for the walk. Next summer, I hope to be able to put on my running sneakers and live out my hilly daydreams. 

A rainy visit to the
Shrine of St.Therese
Another thing I was not quite ready for was the Juneau rain. If you have ever seen the Twilight movies which are set in a very rainy Washington, you can get a better mental picture of “Truneau”. My one roommate/cohort member/friend coined this term, so I cannot take credit, but it accurately describes Juneau. You have days like the touristy Juneau pictures show, which are beautiful, the skies are blue and the clouds do not promise rain. We got to experience two or three of these days while the rest of the month brought with it daily rain showers, gray skies, and lots of clouds. Now that I have hopefully painted a bit of a picture for what my days were, let me be clear in saying that "Truneau” is a beautiful place. I have such an appreciation for the rainy days and always present cloud cover. There was something indescribable about the beauty present in this environment. I could go on and on about it, but instead I will just suggest that anyone reading this should add Juneau to their “must visit” list. 

A sign at the top of Mt. Roberts..
After our moderate hike
Why visit? Well besides the rain, Juneau has a ton of things to see and do. While I feel I will be able to experience more of what this city has to offer next year when my activity level is back to normal, I was able to enjoy activities such as whale watching, seeing Mendenhall glacier, visiting this Shrine of St. Therese and the nearby arboretum, eating fresh crab at Tracy’s crab-shack, bear sightings, and riding the Mt. Roberts tram. Here is the moment where I confess that I broke all physical therapy protocol for a much needed trail hike. Before I get yelled at, just hear me out. A cohort member promised a “moderate” trail hike to the top of Mt. Roberts which would be followed by nice ride down on the tram. Well.. this moderate hike soon became a lasting joke among our cohort as it was anything but moderate. A steep two and a half mile winding hike later, and we were all huffing and puffing. But let me tell you, it was everything my active soul needed and I felt not one ounce of pain during or after the hike. I think my body needed this hike as much as my heart did. I did, begrudgingly, refrain from later offered hikes as I considered possible negative impacts on my recovery. 

My cruise birthday dessert!
Now, onto the turning 25 part of the month.. Leading up to my birthday, I was not having any panic or rethinking any life decisions or fearing my impending quarter century birthday. I even got to celebrate a few days early when our cohort toured and had dinner on a visiting cruise ship. My cohort members made a scene and ensured that I had been properly wished happy birthday; it was a sweet memory that I won’t soon forget. Then, on the night before my birthday, it hit me that I’d be 25 years old upon waking up the next morning. As I laid in bed alternating between crying (ask anyone, I’m a crier.. it’s normal) and laughing at myself for crying over this, I reflected on what 25 meant to me. For some, it is a birthday that marks old age and for others it is an “only downhill from here” type of moment. For me, it was a completely different experience. I cried because I felt lucky to have made it to this milestone. I reflected on the fact that I have already known sickness, tragedy, loss, pain, and overwhelming sadness in my 24 years of life. I have been reminded time and again how short and un-promised life is. So my tears for turning 25 were simply out of a feeling of luck to be able to say that I am 25. That might sound sappy, but as I type this, I am again overwhelmed by those emotions, and I know that for me this is an important moment to add to this post. 

Love going through this program
with Caitlin and Kirsten
Looking back, another unexpected part of my four weeks in Juneau was the bond that 21 strangers formed in this short time. Actually, some of us knew a few others in the class beforehand, but in the grand scheme of things, most of us were strangers to each other. My cohort members and I are all in different stages of our personal and professional lives, and yet we now share this leadership journey. We worked together, discussed topics, butted heads at times, and got to know each other over our 18 days in class. Some of us motivated and encouraged each other on a “moderate” hike, others went fishing together, we celebrated birthdays together, and embraced differences in each other. Of course I learned content during the month, but no one needs a recap of my assignments and readings. I do feel that it is important to note this family of 23 (including our professors) that formed last month. The thing I am most thankful for is to know that we will continue to work together and grow together over the next 11 months as we push ourselves and each other through this program. I love that we will get to celebrate more birthdays and milestones, share stories from different classrooms across the state, and to have a support network of 20 other people who know exactly what each other are working through. I’m sure my “C9” family will have many blog-worthy moments over this next year and I will be sure to post updates along the way! 

A bear at Mendenhall Glacier
Now though, some Florida sunshine is calling my name. I get to enjoy another week and a half on the east coast before making my way back home to Alaska. Words cannot describe how I look forward to getting back to my lakefront apartment and quiet little village. I so appreciate my ability to travel, adventure, and visit loved ones, but living out of a suitcase and taking long plane and car rides gets old after awhile! I am ready to be settled into my chaotic bush routine again and also anxiously excited to see what this year has in store for me. 

Sunday, June 25, 2017

June’s Journeys

Out on the tree farm<3 
In trying to keep up with my summer goal of blogging more often, I wanted to put together a quick recap of my first phase of summer vacation. I call it that because each month of my summer vacation brings with it a different focus or set of circumstances. I suppose a fitting name for this first phase would be “recovery”.  

As I mentioned in my last post, I had surgery on my hip at the end of May. The procedure went well and I have spent the past five weeks trying to do my best to let my body heal so that I can get back to running as soon as possible. Though the pros are great, surgery also brought with it some cons which included a four week sentence to crutches, limited movement, and a sense of dependency that I have not faced in a long time. I wasn’t able to drive for the first three weeks and therefore I was dependent on the schedules of family members in order to schedule my own appointments or to make plans. Though they told me I wasn’t, it was impossible not to feel as though I was a burden to my family. Because of this, I tried to stay home as much as possible for the first two weeks, this also meant a lot of binge-watching Glee on Netflix. Let's be honest, when you have a reason to be able to binge on any show, you feel much better about spending hours doing so. After Sam made it to Pennsylvania, I made sure to provide him some practice with the “in sickness and in health” part of our upcoming marriage as I asked him to chauffeur me around, help with physical therapy, and to carry my stuff wherever we went.
Mini-golfing (Yes, I was on crutches!)

Speaking of our marriage.. we have done quite a bit of wedding planning in the weeks we have been on the east coast. Though it is over a year away, we will spend most of that time in Alaska, so there are certain things need to get done in person rather than online or over the phone. One task, for example, was to go dress shopping! Though it was surreal and a bit overwhelming, I found my dress quickly and painlessly. The only tears in the shopping process were ones of excitement as I chose my dress and envisioned wearing it on my wedding day. Knowing that I will be far away for much of the planning, I feel so much better with this major detail being crossed off the wedding to-do list. 

Yes, we're in the
 "happy about appliance shopping"
phase in house building
Another to-do list that Sam and I have been working on has been for designing our tiny house. We are anxious to begin making our dreams a reality, and have done a lot of research and planning to begin the process. Though it will be small (about 380 sq. ft.), it will require a great deal of planning, effort, and attention to detail. We have made multiple trips to Lowes to measure appliances, begin to develop an overall budget, and to help us go from on-paper to actually happening. After our first trip to Lowes, we were both feeling pretty giddy as we had basically designed our entire home. Stay tuned for updates on the “Rigby Roadhouse” (that's what I'm calling it at least), as we hope to start building by next summer! 

Aside from recovery, wedding planning, and tiny house designing, we have spent the past month trying to visit with as many people as possible. It can be hard to coordinate schedules and to see everyone, but I have done my best. Sam often reminds me that I am not Wonder Woman and that I need to slow down a bit and take some time for myself. I have gotten to the point where I can acknowledge that I might not see everyone or do everything that I want to during my breaks, but it is still hard to accept. I want to take back as many summer memories as possible to get me through the dark winter months! 

From our visit with family in Michigan<3
As my last weekend of my first portion of summer comes to an end, I become more anxious for the next phase which I’ll call “back-to-school”. Next Saturday will bring with it a few flights as I make my way back to Alaska to begin my master’s program. I look forward to getting back into the classroom as a student, though I am not necessarily eager to be in the classroom from 8:00-5:00, five days a week.. However, I remind myself that it will only be for three-and-a-half weeks and that certainly helps make it more bearable. Another thing I remind myself is that I get to spend the month in Juneau, a part of the state which I’ve never been to, and that I will be studying and rooming with two friends, Caitlin and Kirsten. I am glad to know that I will have friends and a good support system as I enter the program! 
An afternoon on the farm

Though I feel as if my weeks on the east coast have flown by, I am thankful to have had the time to be here. I am especially grateful that I was able to have my surgery and recovery here, as doing so in the village would have been rather difficult. This month also brought with it some fun memories as I visited with family and friends, and as Sam and I began to make more concrete plans for our future as a married couple (it is still weird to think that I am going to be a wife!!). Stay tuned for my next post which will hopefully recap a great start to my yearlong masters program! 

Saturday, May 20, 2017

May Flowers

Boating on Six Mile!
Last week, after a seemingly never ending year, the reality of the upcoming summer break hit me like a freight train. My stress level was through the roof as I wrapped things up in my classroom, helped prepare for my student’s graduation ceremony, began packing for my summer travels, and cleaned up my apartment for the arrival of our last set of visitors. Ever patient with me, Sam continued to remind me that I was supposed to be enjoying myself and not stressing so much as the semester came to a close. He made sure not to let me dwell in my stress and we got outside quite a bit last week. We were even able to get out for a boat ride on Six Mile as the ice finally decided to thaw. Though I appreciated experiencing a normal Alaskan winter, I’ve been ready for spring and summer weather for the past month or so. 

Photo Cred.: Captain Wayne
Last week brought with it some beautiful weather, which was just what I was hoping for as my Dad and Meg were coming to spend the weekend. On Thursday, it was all I could do not to pace back and forth as I waited for their plane to land. I hop on our little "puddle jumpers” all the time, but knowing that your parents are flying in them sure does raise your heart rate and stress levels! Luckily, the day proved to be mild in terms of wind and before I knew it, they were climbing out of the plane and I was able to relax a bit. Of course, over the next few days, I felt like an overprotective parent as I ensured they both had enough layers, were being cautious when out on the hondas, and that Sam was cooking nut-free foods in an effort to ensure both parents would survive their trip to the village. 

The Gorge
That evening, after taking a walk and a short boat ride, we had a relaxed night as Dad and Meg were drained from their day of traveling. Friday brought with it warm temperatures and clear skies that allowed us to drive the hondas on some back trails and all the way up to Lake Clark. The day also brought with it an insider look at how a graduation takes place in the villages. That night, we went to school for my student’s graduation ceremony. Our “Class of 2017” consisted of just one student, and I’ve been anxious for this day for weeks. Our gym was a packed house and we had people watching as we live streamed through our Facebook page. My Superintendent, Ty, was able to fly in to speak and present my student’s diploma. It was a bit strange and surreal as I was helping people find seats and making sure everything was ready, to turn around and see my parents and Ty deep in conversation.. 

Roadhouse Mountain
While I normally would have been concerned about that conversation, my momma bear nerves were on hyperdrive and I had bigger things to worry about. Earlier in the evening, Ty joked that I was a wreck because my "first baby” was leaving home. Though I’ve had one student graduate this year, I didn’t work nearly as long or as closely with her as I did with the young man that was graduating. The ceremony was short, as most village graduations are, but it was beautiful and I tried to soak up every minute to ensure that I won’t soon forget it. I was glad that Dad and Meg could be there to see it and that they were able to meet half of the village, including all of my students. Afterwards, there was a live band dance at the community building to celebrate the graduation and though Sam and I only stopped in for about an hour, it was a fun time! Live band dances are a big deal in the villages, so there were a bunch of people there and it was nice to see everyone enjoying themselves and having some carefree fun. 

Dad tackling his first
steep Bear Creek Trail hill!
The rest of the weekend was spent outside adventuring. Saturday brought with it some off and on rain showers, but we still spent quite a bit of time outside. On Sunday and Monday we spent our time seeing the sights in Newhalen. Both my dad and Meg got a kick out of how we get hondas back and forth across the river on the boat, and by Monday morning, they had mastered the crossing process. We were able to get out to see Tazimna Falls, the Gorge, introduce them to some of our Newhalen friends, and traverse Bear Creek Trail, which is by far my favorite. I will say that there are some rather steep and extreme hills on this trail and I was hesitant to let my Dad drive up and down them. However, since he’s the grown up and the dad, he told me to be quiet, relax, and to let him do his thing. I think his inner teenager came out to play and he very much enjoyed mastering each hill. Meg and I were happy to watch the boys tackle the hills as we got our exercise for the day in walking up and down said hills. 

Ferrying hondas on Sam's water taxi!
Before I knew it, Tuesday morning approached and our East Coast visitors were climbing back into a plane and heading back to Pennsylvania. I was sad to see them go, but content in the knowledge that I would see them in just a few days. Once they left, I got back to school and spent the next day and a half making sure I was packed up and ready to go. It is always bittersweet to finish the school year, but I am comforted knowing that I will be working with the same students next year, unless any move over the summer. After saying our "see you laters” and ensuring my kiddos that I would be returning in August, I was ready to put this school year behind me. Though I am looking forward to returning in a few months, this summer break will provide a much needed respite from the village. 

Happy Graduation Ricky! 
As I write this, I have been back on the east coast for a little over 24 hours, and have already had a great time visiting with my family. Last night I was able to visit with my mom and see Katie’s progress in her gymnastics routines. I then spent a little while with my Dad, Meg, and some family friends. This morning, we traveled to Elizabethtown College to see my younger brother, Ricky, graduate. Not only was it great to see and celebrate with Ricky, but I was also able to visit with Nikki, Frank, Jason, and Ashley. It is rare that we are all together at the same time, so to get this reunion on my first full day home was a pleasant treat. This summer is already off to a great start! While I hope to get some rest this summer, it promises to be another busy one. Some of the highlights for the summer include the following: 

My sweet girl/Jr. Bridesmaid<3 
-Hip surgery this week to repair a honda accident/running related injury. In the surgery spectrum, it is a minor one, but this will keep me off my feet for a bit. However, if all goes well, I will be back to running in just a few months! 
-A trip to Michigan to see Sam’s sister, brother-in-law, and niece.
-Wedding dress shopping and other wedding planning!
-Spending the month of July in Juneau as I begin my master’s program. 
-Traveling to Greenville, South Carolina to spend time with some close friends.
-My fingers are crossed for a beach trip at some point!
-A trip to Florida to see the future in-laws (I love being able to say that!).

I am sure there will be many day trips and more visits than I count, but I have the best intentions to be more active in my blogging than I was last summer! Until then, and as always, thanks for following along with my journey! 

Saturday, April 29, 2017

April Showers and What Not

Things are thawing out! 
There have been times in the past when I have gone back and forth about what I would discuss in my post. Should I only talk about the good stuff? Do I let people in on the “ugly”? How honest should I be, can I be? It sometimes delays a post for days or even weeks. Truth be told, I started this post last week and had to leave it because I became too overwhelmed by my thoughts and emotions. However, I always go back to the fact that this blog is supposed to be about my journey. This is one of the most incredible adventures I could hope to be on, and I wouldn’t change it for the world. But let me make it clear and say that it isn’t always rainbows and butterflies. Sometimes it is frustrating and aggravating, confusing and saddening. I’ll be honest and say that this past semester, this past month, has included a lot of those not so great moments. 

The Newhalen River
Teaching in rural Alaska is one of the most challenging things I have ever done. In my village, there can often be a disconnect between the community and the school. I don’t leave school and drive three towns over, or to another city, or even another state. I leave school and am surrounded by the families of the children I teach or who have students in the school. When things are so closely connected, as they are in a village, it can have an impact on both your career and your personal life. No matter how long I live here, I think I will always feel like an outsider, a burden, a "white person”, someone to distrust the moment change occurs. This is not to say that I feel this way every moment or that it ruins my experience, but it is a deep down feeling that is there at the end of even the best days. I wish I could explain to anyone who will listen, that I am not here for the money. I did not move 4,000 miles away, leaving my family and friends, just for the incredible views; they sure do help keep me here though. I do not continue to sign my contract “just because”. My sole purpose in coming here, in being here, in staying here, is to help the kids. 

Hatcher Pass 
In the past weeks, I have done a lot of reflecting and have spent countless moments going back and forth on whether I am meant to be here, if I am meant to be teaching. I’ve always admitted that I don’t envision myself in a classroom for the rest of my life. Yet, I never thought I would want out after only three years into my career. Again, at the end of the day, I stay for the kids. I’ll give it one more year out here and then we’ll see what happens next. Maybe Sam and I will stay in Alaska and maybe we won’t. Maybe I’ll continue to teach and maybe I won’t. I’m not so sure what the future holds for me, so for now I’ll take it one day at a time. I try to find comfort in the fact that I truly feel that I am meant to be here right now, in this place, doing what I am doing. If only I could remind myself that on the days in which I am questioning everything.. 

While there have been many trying times in the past weeks and months, there have also been some really great moments. I think I'll go with a list recap for this post because to be honest, it has taken a lot of my mental energy to write this much. Here's what happened in April.. 

*State testing came and went with no major issues.

*I made a very short, overnight trip to Pilot Point, and had a great time seeing my first set of “my kids”. 

*I had the chance to spend a night snuggling with sweet Ila and visiting with her momma. 

Santa was on vacation:/ 
*I became an “Auntie” again as two of our friends welcomed their son in early April! Auntie Paige won’t get to meet Baby Brunn until August, but I’ve been loving pictures and updates from his momma! 

*Wedding planning has begun! We’ve picked a date and location, and are so excited to tie the knot:) 

*Speaking of weddings, I got my engagement ring back after sending it to be resized! I only got to wear it for a few days after the special day before sending it out. I’m thrilled to have it back on my finger. 

A mini Hammill family reunion:) 
*Nikki and Frank (My sister and brother-in-law) and Shawnee and Joey (my best friend and her boyfriend) came to Alaska!! Sam and I met them in Anchorage and we had some fun sightseeing adventures, rode the tram at Alyeska, went to the Wildlife Conservation Center, and more. After Caitlin joined us, the 7 of us road-tripped to Fairbanks to visit Santa Land in North Pole (yes, it’s really a town!), soak in Chena Natural Hot Springs, visit an Ice Museum, see the Northern Lights, and tour "Alaska Land". We had some long days, but the memories and sights were worth the lack of sleep and long hours in the car! It was such a great week and was a much needed break. 

Flattop Mountain
*During our trip to Anchorage, we were able to meet up with my cousin Jeremiah who lives there with his family. (He's the one I very randomly ran into in King Salmon at the beginning of the school year). I was happy for the chance to visit with him and hope to see him again soon! 

*This past week brought with it Culture Week, a week in school were the community comes in and we spend the entire week focusing on culturally important things, specifically Dena’ina traditions. We made kuspuks, worked on tanning moose hide, practiced Dena'ina language, mended nets, beaded necklaces, heard stories from elders, and focused on Dena'ina values.

Moose hide blanket toss!
*One project from Culture Week that fascinated me was tanning the moose hide. This is such a laborious process that yields a beautiful product at the end. The end result is leather that can be used for a variety of projects. One of the steps was wringing out the hide after it had spent a day soaking in caribou brains and bear fat (kind of gross but equally fascinating). Once it had been wrung out, it was to be taken inside where it would be stretched out and left to dry. Someone mentioned “one time when we were tanning a hide, they tossed the kids up on it…” and before I knew it, we had one of our youngest students on the hide and we were tossing her into the air. Then, we went into the gym, grabbed a mattress and some stronger adults, and began tossing anyone that wanted a chance. Though I was hesitant, I had to give it a try! It was terrifying to trust students and community members to catch me, but oh how exhilarating it was! The kids have teased me ever since because I screamed the entire time (check out my Instagram or Facebook to see the video). Life will bring with it experiences you never thought possible. Being thrown into the air and caught on a moose hide is not something I ever even thought might happen to me, and yet I can now add it to the list of things I’ve done. 

Can you come back now??
*The weather just keeps warming up. Our lake is finally, albeit very slowly beginning to look like a lake again. My parents come out in two weeks and I’m curious to know if we will still have ice in the lake when they arrive. 

*The days are getting longer and longer. The sun rose at about 6:20 this morning and the sun will set around 10:15. This is one of my favorite times of the year! 

Love that I get to walk through
 life with this guy by my side<3 
As I said earlier, there were a lot of great things to happen this month! I look at this list I’ve typed out and it helps me focus on all the positive things going on and helps push the frustrating things to the back of my mind. Another thing that helps me is knowing that I will be heading back to my east coast home in less than 20 days! Let's hope the April showers really bring some May flowers to get us through the rest of the school year!