Summing Up '16

One of my favorite
photos from this year

As another year comes to a close, I am thankful to have a chance to reflect on the year and all that has happened in just 365 days. There have been moments of pure happiness and also moments of tragic loss, and then everything in between. While I feel that I have been able to keep up adequately enough on my blog throughout the year, I wanted to take the chance to highlight some of, but not nearly all of, my favorite moments from this year. 

Top Moments of 2016-

My favorite picture
from Ryan's visit<3

1. Visitors!- 2016 was the year of east coasters coming to visit the “Last Frontier". The visits started off with an unplanned visit from my mom and older sister after mine and Sam’s accident in early March. Though I don’t remember much of their visit, I appreciate their ability to come and help to care for us in the days following the accident. 

Later in the year, April brought with it a stream of back-to-back visits. From mine and Sam’s friends Jon and Elisabeth (who got engaged during their stay!), to my sister and brother-in-law, to our final visitor of the year, our friend Ryan, the month was nonstop. I valued every minute of these visits and often reminisce on the adventures had and memories made during the month. *I look forward to seeing more familiar faces stepping foot in Alaska in the coming months! 

Annabelle and I loving Dr. Seuss

2. Annabelle Dixie- I cannot get enough of Sam’s niece that made her debut in late March. I wanted nothing more than to fly down to Florida to meet this sweet girl the moment she was born, but the wait was worth it when I finally got some baby snuggles this summer. Don’t get me wrong, her parents and grandparents are also great people, but Miss Annabelle totally steals the show these days! *Two of my Alaskan friends are currently expecting and I am pretty darn excited to meet their little ones!

3. Tiny Houses- For those who might not know, Sam and I enjoy anything and everything tiny house related. I was thrilled to finally be able to go visit a company that designs custom tiny homes while I was in Orlando this summer. It should also be noted that I was ready to purchase a home that day, and often refer back to it when the topic comes up. I call it the “wedding dress” effect in which I can’t help but compare all other tiny house to this particular one. It’s a shame that this house was custom made for someone and was leaving the warehouse a few days after our visit.

4. Back with my Kiddos- By the time August rolled around, I wanted nothing more than to get back to school to see my “kids”. I was even more excited to get final word that I would be the itinerant special education teacher in Pilot Point this year. I count down the days to my monthly Pilot Point visits and am thankful to have the opportunity to work in two schools that have both stolen my heart. 

Our trip to Tanalian Falls

5. Port Alsworth- Early in the school year, I joined Sam, Caitlin, Emily, and Racquel on a boat trip up to Port Alsworth. We spent the night camped out  on the beach under an incredible Norther Lights display, and got to visit with good friends the following day. I loved the trip that our friend Abbey led us on, as we took an 8 mile round trip trek up to Tanalian Falls and then on to Kontrashibuna Lake. The trip home to Nondalton was certainly unforgettable and this trip remains to be one of my favorite Alaskan memories to date. 

A late night viewing:)

6. Northern Lights Sightings- This year has brought with it many middle of the night wake up calls to see some breathtaking Northern Light shows. I don’t think this will ever grow old, and each night of interrupted sleep is well worth the extra caffeine needed the next day. 

7. A Growing Family!- Though I wasn’t able to be there to witness it, I was over the moon when I heard that my future sister-in-law said yes when my brother proposed to her in October. I was then brought to tears last week when Ashley asked me to be one of her bridesmaids. I am so excited to take part in their special day and cannot wait to see what the future holds in store for them!

Sully A.K.A. Ugly Dog <3

8. Ugly Dog- Oh man, my “not my dog” dog has quite simply stolen my heart this year. This little stray is the cutest “Ugly Dog” ever and he has quickly claimed me as his “person”. We’ll see what happens for Sully (he couldn’t be called Ugly forever ) and I in the New Year! 

9. Quality Time with Loved Ones- I love nothing more than to be surrounded by friends and family. Whether adventuring or just sitting around playing games, I crave time to visit with those I love. This year was filled with countless memorable visits and I hope that 2017 provides me with more of the same encounters. 

10. Birthday Celebrations- This year, both of my parents celebrated their 50th birthdays! I am so grateful that their birthdays fall during my school breaks and that I could be home to celebrate both of them. Though his birthday was last week, we are celebrating my Dad’s birthday tomorrow and I am looking forward to the party and to seeing family and friends that I haven’t seen since in months! 

Along with summing up the year, I wanted to come up with some goals for the new year. I don’t want to call them resolutions because that term tends to bring with it guilt when said resolutions are not followed through with. In setting a goal, I feel that I can either take the steps to meet my goal or not, and at the end of the year I can then reflect on the goals and re-evaluate steps I can take for the following year. 

Goals for 2017-

1. Spend More Time Crafting- Definitely did not have enough crafting time this year! I’d like to start something new but nothing has caught my interest enough to commit (suggestions greatly welcomed!). 

Six Mile Lake, Nondalton

2. Get Outside More- To start reaching this goal, Sam and I are planning to acquire my principal’s bikes and to explore our communities from a new perspective! 

3. Stay Present/Remain in the Moment- It is a daily struggle, but I try to remain mindful and stay wholly focused on the present moment.

4. Take Better Care of my Emotional Health/Learn to Say “Sorry, but NO”- Another daily struggle, but I’m getting better at politely saying “No” when my plate is too full.

5. Continue to Strengthen my Faith- I have witnessed unwavering faith during two tragic times this year and both instances have inspired me in ways I cannot put into words. Last year my goal was to read the Bible, and my progress has been slow but also steady and I am eager to continue my reading in the upcoming year!  

Processing, Prayers, and Positivity

Miss Paige sure was having a “Monday” today. From the moment she saw me this morning, Emily kept saying that I wasn’t acting like myself, and asking what was wrong. I continued to swear that yes I was fine, that yes I got sleep, that yes I had my morning coffee. However, as the day went by, I too noticed that I was having an “off” day, but I pushed through, feeling thankful that to know that this time next Monday I will be on the east coast, surrounded by family. Yet, when I got home from school, I just couldn’t shed this feeling of “off-ness”, this tired, sorrowful feeling; that is, until now. 

Throughout my teenage life and now into my adulthood, writing has been my go to in times of need. I journal almost daily, I write cards and letters to family and friends, and I do my best to keep up with my blog. There is an emotional release that comes along with each time I put pen to paper, or fingers to keypad, and tonight I am in desperate need of this release. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t feeling grateful for the tears that are finally flowing as I type this. Sometimes in life, really bad things happen and we do our best to process them and move on. For me, writing helps to process and to express feelings that I cannot otherwise share, and so tonight I am going to share and process, so that tomorrow is not a “Monday” kind of Tuesday. 

As many people who read my blog also follow my Facebook postings, I don’t think I need to go into the specifics of the tragedy that occurred in a nearby village last week. However, for anyone who might not know, I will share that there was an airplane crash involving two students from our district, their father, and the boyfriend of a close friend of mine. Before there was official word of the crash, the plane and it’s passengers had been missing and a wide-spread search took place. As this happened during the school week, it was impossible and would have been unfair for us to try to keep our students in the dark. By the morning after the plane was listed as missing, students had come to school telling us who was on board and details that they were hearing through word of mouth, many of which were inaccurate. It was important for us to talk with our students and to be there for them should they have questions. 

As prepared as I thought I was for the questions and concerns that may arise, I was wrong. I was in the middle of a reading block with three students when one of them looked at me with such innocence and concern and asked a question that will forever make my heart ache. I was almost brought to tears when I realized that I didn’t have the answers to their questions. To feel helpless in the search and in comforting my friend was one awful feeling, but to be unable to answer the questions that my sweet young students were asking me was one of the worst feelings I think I will ever encounter. I think back to times in which I must have asked my parents questions that they were unable to answer, and can now sympathize with the sorrow they were faced with in being unable to answer them. 

Shaken, I decided not to join my students for our normal lunch routine, and was then able to, with Caitlin and Emily, reflect on the conversation that occurred during reading block. Later in the day, as I talked with one of our paraprofessionals, who is also a mother of four, I realized the pain that she was feeling as a mother. What we both agreed on was that we felt so shaken because it could have been anyone. It could have been me last week during my unsettling flight home from Pilot Point, or this para and her son returning from a trip to Anchorage. While we try to remind ourselves that driving down the highway is much more dangerous, I think the reality of having flight as our only true means of travel is what makes this hit so close to home. Yet, I truly believe in and have faith in God's plan and try to live my life knowing that he is in control. 

Similarly to what I experienced when my friend Ryan unexpectedly died this summer, I have again witnessed such unwavering faith since the search began last week. The family and friends of those who were on the plane have come together and have displayed inspiring grace in this difficult time. I admire the strength that I have witnessed, and I know that the families and friends, the community, our district, will make it through this. We will come together, we will listen, we will try to answer the hard questions, we will provide hugs, love, and comfort, and we will celebrate the lives of those that we lost. 

As people will do after any tragedy that they can connect with, I have since re-evaluated the way that I prepare for traveling by plane. I realized that yes, the extra layer can fit in my bag, that yes I can toss a lighter in my backpack, and that taking lint from the lint trap (a fire-starter) is not unreasonable. Much like packing an emergency kit for car accidents, flat tires, or snowstorms, it is equally important to have items packed when traveling on our small planes. In talking with my principal yesterday and hearing as he offered to help make me a survival kit, I suggested that we get the supplies to have our students that travel make them as well. I think in doing so, they will feel better, but they will also realize the importance of being prepared in the event of an emergency. 

The past week has thrown my already anxious brain into near panic everyday, but it has also shown me some really positive things. I have seen a community join together to offer help and prayer through the search. I have read about the incredible love that my friend and her boyfriend shared. I watched as our students came together today and put a lot of thought and effort into making cards to send to the students and staff in Port Alsworth. I read about the strength of the brother, and son, of those on the plane, as he and his volleyball team continued on in a tournament in honor of his younger siblings. I watched in awe as donations poured in to help provide loved ones with travel and memorial expenses, raising over $30,000 in the short span of 48 hours. Though a great loss took place last week, it did not cripple the community or our district, and I will continue to try to remember that when I am feeling helpless or when I just don’t have the answers. 

If I have learned one thing in my life, it is that this life is short and it is precious. I urge you to take the time to called loved ones, write letters, send texts, to just let the people you love know that you love them. To anyone reading this, please know that I love you for taking the time to read my posts and follow along with my life, though the good and the bad. 

For anyone wanting to help relieve the families of upcoming expenses:

https://www.gofundme.com/kyle-longerbeam-memorial-fund

https://www.youcaring.com/joshsamblom-714090

*The original donation page set up for the travel and funeral expenses for the Bloms went over the $20,000 goal in just 24 hours. They have since created a separate fund to help the two surviving sons with their college expenses in order to help remove some of the future financial burdens this family might have to face. 

For anyone wanting to read more: 

https://www.adn.com/alaska-news/aviation/2016/12/09/father-two-children-headed-to-anchorage-high-school-volleyball-tournament-when-plane-crashed/

https://www.adn.com/sports/2016/12/10/tanalian-volleyball-team-community-finding-strength-in-christian-faith-in-wake-of-tragedy/