AK 2024: Felt Like Going Home

For some reason, writing a post about the trip we took to Alaska last summer has been difficult for me. I began writing this in August and it’s been an open tab on my computer for months. My natural inclination would be to share about the many things we did during our two week visit, including the people we saw and places visited. However, that doesn’t feel like what my brain wants to focus on. The words that have started to form in my mind are of a different train of thought. Trust me, I am fully aware that as the author of this post, I can literally write whatever I want. However, as a “creative”, it is more that I need to follow the thoughts that are forming in my head when I think about a post versus writing what I thought I set out to write about. On this one, I’m just going to give in and follow the thoughts and I guess we’ll see where that takes us. 

When I left Alaska in the summer of 2018, I had no idea when I would return again. Due to the increased expenses of traveling to the villages, especially as a non-resident, I knew that it would be unlikely to make it back to my “home” in Nondalton in the near future. With that said, my intentions were to return to Anchorage sooner than later, ideally pairing it with one of Sam’s work trips (he still works for the district and visits the state about 3 times per year). However, life has a way of happening and year after year something else has taken priority over a trip back. When 2024 arrived we set the intention that this would be the year of our return to Alaska, especially wanting to take advantage of Ruth being able to fly free. Having left as a newly married couple with our sweet village pup, we would be returning as a family of four (with our now 2 dogs enjoying some time away from poking and prodding toddlers at Grandpa and Mom-Mom’s). 

I think the difficulty in this post herein lies with what the return to the state was for us, for me. Once Sam and I began to set down roots in Pennsylvania, we started to miss the lifestyle we had in Alaska; the people, the scenery, the slower and less pressured rhythms of life. Every now and again during those first few years, we would envision what it could look like to move back, but always in a “down the road when the currently imaginary kids are grown” kind of way. Once Benjamin was born, however, those talks seemed to become a little more frequent and in depth. Then, with Ruth’s birth, the talks became more realistic, adding pro and con lists to the mix. Sam has traveled to the state many times over the last six years, and falls in love with it more and more each time. I, however, hadn’t been back in years and also not since becoming a mother. What if what I was feeling was a yearning for what once had been instead of a realistic desire for what could be? We decided that a trip back would allow us both an epic family adventure and a realistic feel for whether or not the conversations should be continued about a more near-future return or tabled for a later stage in life. 

    Shortly after we moved to Pennsylvania, I read The Great Alone by Kristin Hannah, a book set in rural Alaska. One quote in the book stuck out and continues to enter my memory every now and again, even 6 years after reading. The quote reads, “Alaska doesn’t attract many; most are too tame to handle life up here. But when she gets her hooks in you, she digs deep and holds on, and you become hers. Wild. A lover of cruel beauty and splendid isolation. And God help you, you can’t live anywhere else.” (Hannah). That quote came to mind as we began our descent into Anchorage. Alaska most certainly dug deep and held on to me all these years. I sobbed as familiar mountain ranges and sights came into view (“you’re ugly crying”- Sam). What a cathartic release it was to just let the tears flow as I embraced the emotions as they washed over me. I was back home. After all, it was just last week that I left the state..right? Truly, touching down on the runway was like returning home after a long vacation. Everything in me ached for us to then go to the local air taxi and hop a flight back down to Nondalton. So many people and places I loved dearly were so close and yet still so far away.

Alas, I was grateful for any moment in the state I could get and was chomping at the bit to get out of the airport so the fresh crisp air could hit my skin and for clean air to fill my lungs (that happened a little further down the road from the smelly airport). To be honest, after a direct seven hour flight with two toddlers, one of whom was a lap infant, I was also just thrilled to be off the plane. They did so well, but after seven hours, even adults get squirrely. While it was all so beautifully familiar, it was also deliciously new as I got to witness my babies experiencing it all for the first time. From the majestic sights to the crisp unpolluted air, running barefoot in the dirt to bundling up to play in the snow, hours (and hours) spent driving throughout the state, lots of playground time, seeing wildlife up close and soaking up time with loved ones, my children thrived. 

At the end of this post, I am going to share some form of list of our activities over the two weeks. In addition, if you scroll through my Facebook feed to June 2024, you’ll see a few photo posts documenting our adventures. However, I’m not going to journal our excursions as I typically would in a blog entry. Something about this trip feels a little too sacred to want to share all the ins and outs of. Don’t worry though, I have thoroughly journaled it for myself and in each of Benji and Ru’s adventure journals. 

In a brief summary of our time..I cried, a lot; all the tears. I hugged people I’ve missed terribly and spent time with some dear friends. I introduced my babies to people and places that I love. My husband and I once again traversed routes that we traveled in our dating days. Sam and I spent hours daydreaming, communicating, and setting intentions to continue to do what is best for our family. We packed our time in ways that only Alaska’s long spring days can offer while also having the ability to slow it down since we were there for two weeks. Old friends opened their home to us on multiple occasions and treated us like family. Benji, of his own accord, was calling one of our friends “uncle” within hours of knowing him. Thanks to those family-like friends telling us to ditch one of our airbnb reservations and taking us in, I solo parented with relative ease on the days Sam had to work and again as he and a coworker took a long weekend work trip. 

Another memory for me is frequenting many of the coffee trailers that Alaska is known for and spending time sipping coffee and just staring at God’s creation, in awe of His handiwork. I was able to journal and spend time in prayer while also leaning into some strategies I’ve learned in therapy to process some different life events that occurred during my time in Alaska.  I reflect now how beautiful it was to be able to go back and have the opportunity to visit a place as this version of myself and healthily confront some difficult memories and emotions. What a blessing it was to reach a space of peace and bring new layers of healing for my mind and body. 

Our vacation was everything we could have hoped it to be and so much more. There were a few friends we didn’t get to cross paths with (K.C. I’m sure going to squeeze you tight when I get to see you again my friend) and I’d have loved even just a few hours in Nondalton, but our trip was a whole lot of soul medicine. We were met with beautiful weather and the opportunity to participate in some core memory adventures. Sam and I both got to witness new sights with our trip to Exit Glacier in Seward and in our overnight trip to Homer. The slow pace, small town feel, and easy sense of community everywhere we went reminded us of the importance in deciding the way we want to raise our children. We left with full hearts and refreshed souls, knowing that Alaska still remains at the top of our “where to live” list. I don’t know what the future holds or where our family will end up, but we are all very much looking forward to our next trip back to “Awaska”. 

Daily Activities and Noteworthy Noms:

*Not including names of who we were with in an effort to keep concise and helpful in case anyone is planning a trip and wants destinations/recommendations!*

Day 1: Direct flight to Anchorage from Newark; Airbnb-Butte 

Day 2: Reindeer Farm-Palmer; Valley of the Moon Park-Anchorage; Moose’s Tooth Pizza-Anchorage; Airbnb-Butte 

Day 3: Thunderbird Falls Hike-Chugiak; Loretta French Park-Chugiak; Xalos Burritos Express-Anchorage; Airbnb-Butte 

Day 4: Earthquake Park, Anchorage (very short trip due to immediate bear encounter!); Cabelas- Anchorage; Palmer Family Park-Palmer; Reuben Haus Food Truck- Palmer; Airbnb-Butte 

Day 5: Vagabond Blues- Palmer (ginormous cinnamon buns); Palmer Family Park-Palmer; Picnic Dinner @Matanuska River Park- Palmer; Airbnb-Butte 

Day 6: Friday Fling- Palmer; Visited and stayed with friends- Palmer 

Day 7: Dimond Center Mall- Anchorage; Cabelas- Anchorage; South Anchorage Sports Park- Anchorage; Stayed with friends- Palmer 

Day 8: Church @Summit Worship Center- Wasilla; Dinner Picnic @Palmer Family Park-Palmer; Stayed with friends- Palmer 

Day 9: Watching train pass through Wasilla Train Depot- Wasilla; Whittier Train Tunnel and Walking Tour of Whittier (with a friend who lived there); Drove to Seward; Airbnb- Seward 

Day 10: Exit Glacier- Kenai Fjords National Park- Seward; Sealife Center- Seward; Highliner Restaurant- Seward; Drove to Homer; stayed with friends-Homer

Day 11: Homer Spit- Homer; Shopping- Soldotna; Wildlife Conservation Center- Girdwood; Rasing Cane's- Anchorage; House-sat for friends- Palmer

Day 12: Reflections Lake- Palmer; Bodenburg Butte Trail Hike-Palmer; Big Dipper Homemade Ice Cream- Palmer;  House-sat for friends- Palmer

Day 13: Hatcher Pass & Independence Mine State Park- Palmer; Colony Days- Palmer; House-sat for friends- Palmer

Day 14: Colony Days Parade- Palmer; Reuben Haus Food Truck- Palmer; Red eye direct flight from Anchorage to Newark 

Works Cited

Hannah, Kristin. The Great Alone. St. Martin’s Press, 2018. 

Winter's End

Fresh Air & Hot Coffee>>>

    While it feels as though my last post was written days ago, somehow the calendar is showing we’ve hit April. Almost 3 months have gone by since my two-in-one month blog revival happened. Every day over the last few weeks “blog post” has been on the to-do list. However, life has been “life-ing” and the days just seem to pass me by. What better way to force myself to slow down and reflect on my end of winter happenings than with a little recap post? As my last entry was written in mid-January, I’ll rewind the clock a bit and start there! 

After some encouragement from Sam and my therapist (it’s 2024, mental health matters, don’t make it weird), the last weekend of January brought with it a weekend away; wait for it… just for me! I booked the coziest little airbnb a few towns away from home and had a weekend all to myself. I binge-watched some shows, finished a book, shopped around a bit, enjoyed hot coffee and fresh air, and had two nights in which I didn’t have to nurse a babe overnight or have a toddler alarm clock in the morning. In the last 3 years, there’s only been one night in which I’ve been away from both of my babies. I also struggle to “treat myself” as it is, so to book a whole weekend away was a big deal for me. It was restful and refreshing and I pushed all the mom-guilt aside to really just enjoy the time of rest. Oh, and fellow mamas, my therapist told me to tell you to try to do this for yourselves even just for one night, once a year. And no, Sam wasn’t babysitting, he was solo-parenting our children. I’m sadly aware this isn’t the norm in our society and I am grateful for the equal partner he is in raising our children. I am also hopeful that with time, this will be more normalized and encouraged for the support and well-being of family units as a whole. 

Birthday/Anniversary Date <3 

February brought with it our first 6th wedding anniversary. Yeah, I know, it’s weird but we eloped and then had a wedding six months later, so we technically have a wedding anniversary every six months. To be honest, we aren’t the type to do anything over the top to celebrate any occasion, but we are big on making family memories. We spent the morning in church and then took advantage of a beautiful afternoon in which many were preparing for Super Bowl parties (we’re not sports people) to take a family bike ride on a nearby trail. Benji brought his Jeep and was thrilled to drive along as we biked. We ended the night playing Ticket to Ride after the kids went to bed and I couldn’t have asked for a better way to spend the day. 

Matchy Matchy 

    A few days later the kids were delighted to get new matching pink hoodies for Valentine’s Day and even got some valentines in the mail. Three seems to be the age in which Benji is really interested and engaged in celebrations and traditions which has been so fun (another post on family traditions to follow). The day after, Sam’s parents flew in for his birthday and spent a long weekend with us. Even though they live in Florida, we’re spoiled with getting to see them every few months. We had a low-key weekend which included a trip to a new indoor play space for the kids, more games for us grown-ups (Ticket to Ride and Catan are the family favorites), and an afternoon lunch date for Sam and I. 

National Aquarium!

    Once March hit, we were really ready for winter to be done and spring to be here, yet it still seemed a little out of reach. A planned zoo trip when my cousin was home on spring break turned into an indoor adventure at the last minute when the late winter weather hit us again. Instead of the zoo, the kids and I drove down to Baltimore to visit the National Aquarium with my aunt and cousins. We had a great visit and spent hours following Benji and Ruth’s lead, taking in the world through toddler eyes. The moving walkways taking us up each level were Benji’s favorite thing of the day, but the jellyfish and tree frogs were close behind. A Chik-Fil-A car picnic before our drive home really sealed the deal on it being a memorable day for a toddler. Living within hours of a number of relatives has allowed for plenty of fun memories to be made, especially as the children grow and become more engaged in activities. 

Cousin Snuggles <3 

    The next day, Sam left for a work trip to Alaska and my two weeks of solo parenting began. Don’t get me wrong, two weeks of solo parenting two toddlers is not for the faint of heart (shout out to all single parents for showing up every day!), but his work trips are routine enough that we’ve gotten into a good swing for his being gone. This time, I packed up Benji, Ru and the pups to spend the first weekend with my family. We had a fun few days in which the kids got quality time with three of their grandparents, a few aunts and uncles, and their younger cousin. We spent the rest of the time at home, in our own space where we function best, getting outside and working on some spring decluttering. Then, a few days before Sam returned home, my cousin and her daughter came to spend a night with us. Benji and Ruth were jazzed to play with another baby cousin and I got to soak up a very snuggly contact nap while her Mama worked from our house. I continue to be thankful to be in similar seasons of parenting with my older sister and cousin and the connection it brings for our children! 

Easter Church Service

Unfortunately, March also brought with it some ick as we weathered our first family stomach bug. Don’t worry though, Sam was home from Alaska for a whopping three hours before I was taken out. With how sick I was, I don’t know how I would have parented two toddlers had I gotten sick before he got back home. God’s timing on Sam's return was so good as he stepped right in and took over all parenting until I was well enough to step back in.. just in time for him to get hit with it. Thankfully, Benji and Ruth had very minimal sickness and showed us a whole lot of grace and patience as we both needed half a week to get back to functioning at full capacity.

 

Easter Crew 2024

    Luckily, we were all back to good health in time for the weekend of Easter so we could celebrate with family. On Saturday, we dyed eggs for the first time, much to Benji's amazement. Then, my dad and step-mom came out for a visit and brought with them a fun Easter egg hunt for the kids. After finding the eggs one time, Benji asked them to hide the eggs again and again and again. He had just as much joy finding them on the 15th round as he did on the first. Sunday allowed us to start the day in church, praising God for the gift of Christ’s death and resurrection. The kids also got to open some spring themed Easter baskets much to their delight. We then spent the afternoon surrounded by family at my aunt and uncle’s house in Maryland as we gathered for Easter dinner. With living in different states, illnesses, coordinating shared holidays with in-laws, and fluctuating work schedules, it can be tricky to get family together. Even when we can coordinate, there’s usually someone still missing (this year my step-dad and younger cousin were missed!). This was the first time since a family wedding last June that my mom had all four of her children together in one space! Something about that fact just makes the time together feel so much more of a treasure to me.

First water table day of spring!

    These were just some of the highlights, but sprinkled throughout these months I also attended some fun celebrations for friends, had a few book club gatherings, continued my study through Proverbs with my small group, started to help out in our church’s nursery, celebrated our nephew’s 1st birthday, and got to meet the two babies that dear friends of mine recently had. At times it felt like a busy winter while at other points it dragged on in ways that felt never ending. I think this is the first year in quite some time that I have been desperate for the warmth and sunshine that spring and summer bring. While we spend time outside no matter the weather, you can only spend so much enjoyable time in the cold and wind with toddlers. I am ready for the days when we don’t need layers to leave the house! I’m sitting outside as I type this, with no need for a coat, the solar eclipse just having finished (it was cloudy so we didn’t get to see it which made me feel better about dropping the ball on getting glasses) feeling grateful that spring seems as if it is finally here to stay. Here's to hoping for sunny and warm days ahead! 

Fulfill Your Ministry

Benji's Dedication Ceremony Day!

As it’s currently sick season, especially for toddlers, we weren’t able to make it to church last weekend. Thankfully we live in an age where services in many churches are streamed online, ours included. As I was listening to the sermon this afternoon, I was struck by the closing point in our pastor’s message as he wrapped up a series on Colossians. Pastor Matt ended with Colossians 4:17 which speaks of the ministry God has given to each of us to fulfill (also seen in 2 Timothy 4:5). He broke it down for us before saying, “and if I had time, I would call everyone in this room out by their first name and look you in the face and say, ‘fulfill your ministry. God has given you a unique assignment and I don’t know what that is. Your ministry is not my ministry. My ministry is not your ministry… Use your gifts, and your experiences, your strengths, your struggles, your accomplishments, all that God has put into your life, use those to fulfill your ministry.’” (Watson. M.) The day before this sermon was preached, I wrote a blog post about the burden I feel for sharing my writing, that I felt God had gifted me with this passion and skill-set for some reason. Pastor Matt’s closing message affirmed to me that we each have our own calling, our own ministry. As I work to figure out what my specific ministry is-Writing? Mothering? Teaching? Helping mothers? Writing about mothering? All or none of the above?- I thought I could fill in some gaps in my “sabbatical” from blogging. Since this blog post and time of introspection was brought on by a sermon, I figured why not reflect on our church journey over the last few years.

     If you were to scroll my feed, it would only be a few posts down that you’d see one titled “Faith and Rainbows” (also linked below). In this post, I shared a bit of my faith walk up to the point of October 2018. This was shortly after our return from Alaska and we were back to living in a place where churches were readily available. But which one to attend? What congregation of people would support us as a newly married couple, new to the area we were living in? Which pastor would preach God’s word with diligence to scriptural accuracy? I was so new to studying scripture that I needed to know whoever was preaching was sharing messages straight from the Bible, not making vague references to it. We spent months visiting churches, sometimes calculating service times so we could attend two different churches in one Sunday. It’s tough when you’re seeking something that typically only occurs at a set time one day a week. We were both aching to fill a need in our spiritual lives that we hadn’t had easy access to in the four years we spent in the villages. Week after week, service after service, we left churches feeling as if the pastor, congregation, beliefs, etc. just weren’t the right fit for us.

    Finally, after about 5 months, in November of 2018 we visited a church that checked all the boxes. The congregation was a good size, the pastor preached from the Bible in a way that connected, we walked away with new insights and deeper understanding of the verses studied each week, and church members welcomed us with open arms. We soon stopped attending other services and focused our time on getting to know the Community Bible Church (CBC) congregation. We faithfully attended, connected with some other families, got to know the pastor, and both felt our spiritual needs were met in our current stage of life. We did worry a bit about the lack of couples in our specific season of life, but we were willing to push that to the side as everything else we were hoping for was met in this church. 

    Almost a year after our first visit to CBC, I was able to share my faith with the church community through being baptized. Unlike an infant’s baptism in some denominations (as in the Presbyterian church I grew up attending), a believer’s baptism is a public profession of one’s personal faith. In lieu of infant baptism, churches that practice believer’s baptisms also offer baby dedications (more to come on this later). Whereas I was sprinkled in my baptism as an infant, at CBC I was baptized by full immersion. The other handful of people being baptized were all elementary or middle-school aged and I was a little embarrassed at how old I was compared to them. However, the joy I felt after my baptism was well worth any anxious thoughts I’d had leading up. Multiple people came up to me after the service to share that they were encouraged to see me among the children. To them, it demonstrated that there is no age limit on professing your faith publicly. 

    Soon after my baptism, Sam and I became members of CBC and also began to teach Sunday School classes for grades 3-5. This definitely intimidated us at first and was a challenge for us (in a good way). It also helped us lean on each other's strengths as we grew as a couple. I was comfortable with getting the kids engaged in lessons while Sam was able to get across the big ideas of the verses and stories we taught. We enjoyed working with the kids and seeing “aha” moments as they connected themes across scripture and shared their biblical knowledge with us. 

    We continued to attend CBC throughout the height of the COVID-19 pandemic, watching recorded sermons over the course of many months. When protocols were lifted, we were eager to return to in-person services. It wasn’t until Benjamin was born in December of 2020 that we started to feel a greater need to be surrounded by others in our season of life. CBC felt like home to us and our spiritual needs were being met, but we were the only family in the newborn stage. In the best of circumstances that is a big transition, but especially during the pandemic when we were isolated in so many ways, we were especially in need of a “village”. We also weren’t ready for another transition, so we trusted that we were in the right church for the time being.

    As mentioned earlier, CBC is a church that offers Baby Dedication ceremonies in place of infant baptism. A dedication is just that- parents coming in front of their church family to make a commitment to raise their child in the Christian faith. I was eager for Benjamin’s dedication and thrilled when our pastor reached out and shared that dedications would take place on Mother’s Day. I was able to stand in front of our church family, alongside my husband, on my first Mother’s Day and make a promise to raise my son in the Christian faith. It was a surreal moment to see how far I’d come in my faith walk in such a short time. 

    Months later, when I was very newly pregnant with Ruth, Sam and I made a very difficult decision to begin visiting new churches. The needs we had for social connection as a family with one child would soon be doubled and we were still one of the only couples with “fresh” babies at CBC. We’d also made a move during our time of attending CBC and we were no longer living in the immediate community. We felt a church a little bit closer to home with more young families in attendance would be best for us in this season. The first time we visited Mt. Calvary Church (MCC), a sea of children got up when it was time for the children's church service. Sam and I had looked at each other and joked that we definitely found a place with plenty of families (but seriously, come for a visit even just to witness the stampede). Then I looked at the weekly flier and saw memos for small groups, family groups, mom meet-ups, even a book club. I think I released a breath I didn’t even know I had been holding. The promise for connection was everywhere we looked. After hearing Pastor Matt’s sermon that first Sunday, we also knew that we’d be getting relatable, relevant, biblically accurate teachings much like we’d been receiving at CBC. We didn’t feel a need to visit any other churches after that.

    Since we began to attend church at Mt. Calvary in late winter of 2022, we have made some really great connections. I am involved in a small group which allows me to connect with 3 other women as we study the bible and fellowship together. Twice a month there’s a meet-up called Coffee & Chaos for moms and children that has been fun to attend. I even joined my first book club this fall and have been really enjoying the variety in books chosen and conversation at our monthly gatherings! Sam is involved in his own small group and has taken part in some service projects the church completes within the local community. Benjamin just moved up to the 3-year-old nursery and is always so excited to go to his room. Ruth even gets to play with a little girl who is just one day older than her! Leaving CBC was not an easy choice for us, but Sam and I both feel that Mt. Calvary is exactly where our family is meant to be attending right now. 

    Another quote from Pastor Matt’s sermon that stood out to me was when he said, “We are brothers and sisters. We are a community. We, in this room.. we are a family. It might be your first Sunday here, look around, this is your family.” (Watson, M.). We are still finding our footing in the larger congregation and are taking our time before becoming members of the church. However, in the short time we have been attending we have felt at home and supported in many ways by the pastor, church staff, and other members. As MCC is located in our town, I look forward to strengthening connections within the congregation and also within our community. 

    The last few years have been full of spiritual growth for me in all facets of my life. I have worked through some great Bible studies on my own, with other church members, and with Sam. Day by day my personal beliefs are being honed as my knowledge and understanding of scripture grows stronger. Finding a church home that meets our needs in our current season of life has been on the top of our priority list and as of now, MCC feels like that place for us. I look forward to when we are able to hold Ruth’s dedication ceremony in front of this community of believers. I pray that she and Benjamin will one day share the same faith that I do and feel led to profess that faith through baptism. I also pray that the way I lead my life, treat others, face challenges, or even what I write about would be the catalyst for even just one person to want to know more about God and the truth of the gospel. I think that in itself would be a fulfillment of my ministry. 

*Click Here for "Faith and Rainows" Blog Post*

Works Cited: 

*It’s been awhile friends and I’m winging it on the MLA format here (Mrs. Perelli I trust that you’re reading this- please correct me as needed!) because it’s been awhile and to be honest I’m not even certain I need it for a personal blog. However, some things from school will be ingrained in your brain forever and properly citing sources is apparently one of those for me. So here we are. 

Watson, Matt. “Colossians-Christ Alone”. Mount Calvary Church of Elizabethtown, 07, Jan. 2024. Elizabethtown, Pennsylvania. Sermon. 

The referenced sermon can be viewed here: 

https://www.youtube.com/live/yi-h3_fvX0s?si=qvSvE6EMrtp7uwVV

Image Credit for Col. 4:17: https://writethemonmyheart.com/2016/07/20/fulfill-your-calling/

Now is Now

Christmas 2023

When I first began blogging in 2014, it was to share my four month teaching journey in remote Alaska. I wanted a platform to share experiences and photos in one space. I also thought family and friends would be curious to learn of a place they might never get to experience for themselves. Four months turned to eight, and in the blink of an eye four years had passed. During that span, blog posts flowed naturally as I was blessed to travel to incredible communities, experience many firsts, learn to “adult” on my own, fall in love, take in the beauty of God’s creation with many different people, and spend my days teaching some really amazing children. It was my best intention to continue blogging as I transitioned back to the East Coast with my husband, Sam, and our village pup, Cessna. Yet, here we are five-and-a-half years later (with another pup, two kiddos, & 10 chickens in tow) and I have totaled a whopping six entries since I stopped calling Alaska home.