Much like with Ruth, I was CONVINCED this baby would come early. (Halfway through the pregnancy, Benjamin suggested we call the baby Honey Bean so that’s what we did. I’ll use that until I get to the delivery part to help avoid “his/her” repetitiveness). I would have bet money on the fact that Honey Bean would be born in September instead of on, or after, the October 2nd due date. Surely, I thought, the third time is a charm and this baby would bless me with an earlier delivery. Shame on me for believing this one wouldn’t want to cook as long as possible like his or her big brother and sister! As September came and went, and then as October 2nd passed by, I knew we were in it for the long haul. My only hope after we passed the due date was that Honey Bean would make moves on his/her own and I would not need to be induced. It became my prayer as the days passed by. I was induced with Benjamin and went into labor naturally with Ruth, I knew I wanted to start laboring at home and go to the hospital only when it was time to deliver. Again, shame on me for thinking this.. We plan and baby laughs, right?
Once I hit my due date, knowing my goal was to go into labor naturally, my doctor’s office began post-dates testing every 3-4 days. Each visit included a non-stress test to ensure the baby's activity was healthy and also an ultrasound to check that amniotic fluid levels were still at a healthy range. I was so worried that I’d made it this far without learning the gender for it to only be spoiled in one of these last ultrasounds. Fortunately, Honey Bean remained a mystery as did when his or her birthday would be. As the days slowly crept by without Honey Bean making any moves, I started to wonder if we’d have a birthday buddy for Ruth on the 14th. But that day came and went as well. Finally, after a few rounds of post-dates testing, my doctor scheduled my induction for October 16th (my 42 week mark).
There’s always something emotional about leaving home before the arrival of a new baby, knowing that when you return again it will all be different. There’s such excitement for the growth of the family, but also a bittersweet ache for closing the current chapter. I savored that last day before meeting our littlest bean. Much like the day I went into labor with Ruth, we went to our kid’s favorite breakfast spot, Gus’s diner. We soaked in their every movement, enjoying our last family day just us four on the outside, eagerly talking about the things we’d do once we were five. My parents came over that afternoon, eager to have a weekend of fall fun with Benji & Ruth while we were away. We put our babies to bed, snuggling them extra tight and extra long and then made our way to the hospital.
In true Pennsylvania fashion, we made a pit stop to Sheetz (a gas station chain) for some labor/hospital snacks. What a weird feeling it is driving to the hospital, not actively in labor, knowing we’d be coming back with another little human to care for. Once at the hospital, we called Sam’s parents so we could pray together before getting checked in. There’s some people who just bring absolute comfort in their prayer and Sam’s dad is one of those people for me. Encouraged by prayer, placing trust in God to deliver the baby and I safely through, we went to get the party started.It was a busy night for laboring mamas, so we hung out for a few hours in triage before they were able to put me in a room and start my induction. It was 1:45am on the 17th by the time I was settled into a room and given cervidil to help soften my cervix. I was barely 1cm dilated so the hope was with 12 hours of cervidil to get to at least 2cm. Again, baby was comfy so for 12 hours we just hung out at the hospital. We loved every nurse we had during my stay, and my nurse for most of these 12 hours supported my desire to be as active as possible during labor. So I walked laps around the unit, with portable monitoring, getting chased down and jokingly fussed at by her for walking too fast and throwing off the monitor. The cervidil did its job and got me to 2cm dilated, though of course I had wished it had done a miracle and gotten me to 8 or 9.
The nurse, Abby, that came on shift at 7:00pm was the nurse of my dreams. She basically said she was there to support anything I wanted and would let me do my thing unless I needed assistance. She was so laid back but clearly confident and seasoned in what she was doing. For a few more hours I labored in the room, the contractions coming on stronger and closer but still in such a way I could breath through them. I’d thought a lot about unmedicated vs epidural in the days leading up to my induction. It was my intention to labor naturally as long as possible but that I’d be open to an epidural if it felt time to get one. I just wanted to be at peace for this birth, so if an epidural helped allow for that I would get one.
By 9:45pm the anesthesiologist was in the room and wouldn’t you know it, he was the same one to place my epidural for Benjamin in 2020 and again my (failed) epidural for Ruth in 2022. Sam and I looked at each other as he walked in as we wondered if he was the only anesthesiologist this hospital had. Fortunately I knew what to expect from him and remembered how kind and straightforward he was the other times. Since I was able to sit still easier than with Ruth, it didn’t take long for him to successfully place it. He started the medicine and I soon felt it take effect. I noticed soon after that I wasn’t feeling it much on my left side and the contractions were hitting pretty strongly in the lower left side of my stomach. Since I was immobile, I had no way other than breathing through it to help work through the pain. Fortunately we were able to get the anesthesiologist back down to readminister the dosage and after that it took effect. My epidural with Benji’s birth was so strong they had to tell me I was contracting and with Ruth’s birth I felt everything. This time around I was numb enough to not feel the pain of contractions but I could move my feet and feel the pressure of the contractions. It’s everything I had wanted. I was able to be relaxed and still in tune with what was happening with my body.
Around 10:30pm after the epidural was fixed, Abby checked my progress and I was 6cm. She also said the baby’s head was pretty low. After that, I was able to doze for about 40minutes or so until she came back in to check on me at 11:15pm. She suggested I try laying on my left side and putting the peanut ball between my legs for about 45 minutes before we would switch sides. Almost immediately after she placed the ball I felt uncomfortable. She’d just left the room when I told Sam he needed to take the peanut ball away. It was about 11:30pm at this point and I paged Abby back in telling her I felt pushing pressure. It felt like we’d waited decades for anything to happen and then all of a sudden we were moving in lightspeed. We all had felt certain I’d deliver on the 18th but with how “pushy” I felt, the 17th was suddenly still possible.
Abby checked me again and without much looking she basically said something along the lines of “uh-huh!”. Baby was ready to be born! She called the midwife who of course was just going in for a c-section. Abby said she was supposed to tell me not to push but we laughed as she said that she’d delivered babies before and would be happy to do the paperwork if I had to deliver before the midwife arrived. As confident as I was in her abilities, I remembered when she came on shift and the nurse trading out with her mentioned that she’d just celebrated her 24th birthday. I wanted low key but suddenly I grew worried about a 24 year old being the only one in the room as I delivered. There was another midwife on call, but I actually felt enough control of my body that I was able to breathe through and hold off on pushing.
The midwife arrived in our room at 11:45pm, checked my cervix just to make sure I was fully effaced and let out an “okay!!” because baby was right there. At 11:50pm I began to push, going through a total of 4 sets of pushes. On the final push I had to pause because the cord was wrapped around the baby’s neck. The midwife removed it quickly and without issue. Again, I was amazed that I felt in control of my body enough to be able to pause my pushing. I remember with Ruth’s delivery I had zero control of my body. And even more incredible was that I was able to watch this all happening from a mirror. Seeing the progress of the baby’s head being delivered was such a motivating sight. With my mom by the head of my bed, and Sam helping hold one of my legs, I pushed one final time and our baby GIRL was born! I had told Sam earlier he was in charge of telling me the gender but with how peaceful this all was, I was able to see watch her be born. We knew at the same time that we had welcomed another daughter into the world. She cried and breathed and was beautifully filled with life. Yes and Amen.
Honey Bean and I spent our Golden Hour getting to know one another, skin to skin. Her alert little eyes were busy taking in the world around her and we were soaking up every little feature of her perfect face. Gosh it was like staring into Ruth’s face at her birth all over again. And yet she was also Benjamin’s spitting image.
During this time, I delivered my placenta and for the first of my births I thought to ask to see it. My midwife was delighted to show it to us and talk to us about its function. What a fascinating miracle it is that God designed us in a way that my body could create a temporary organ to breathe oxygen and pass nutrients into my baby as she formed in my womb. Yes and Amen.
We spent that Saturday enjoying our little one and trying to figure out who she was. We’d had a girl name in mind for years, but halfway through my pregnancy another name stuck out to me and felt so right. In the days leading up to her birth we’d thought that name was the one we’d choose for a girl. We even put the name out on our letterboard and my mom arrived at the hospital that day to see it displayed. And yet as we said it out loud we couldn’t help but think that it was not the name of the little baby we were looking at. We spent the rest of the day looking at her and saying both names to her, going back and forth between ourselves and the nurses on duty. It was funny how invested they had become as to which name we would pick. They offered their thoughts on the nickname potential of either name and stared at her with us to see which name suited her. Finally, on Sunday before we were about to get discharged, we agreed that our original name was who she was meant to be. Our little Honey Bean was officially Margaret Emmaline Rigby.
Margaret was my maternal great grandmother’s name. She used to send us birthday cards each year with a handwritten note and a one dollar bill. I always looked forward to those cards from Grandma Hammill, and her writing stemmed in me a love for handwritten notes and letters. She and I continued to write back and forth as I went through college and moved to Alaska. I loved having that connection with her. Emmaline was the middle name of Sam’s maternal grandmother and I have heard so many loving remarks about her over the years. I wish I had been able to meet her but now a piece of her lives on in our littlest love. Honey Bean has definitely stuck as a nickname for her at home, but Maisie is another we are leaning into as we figure out who she is going to become!
It was our third time doing it and yet that first drive home with a new baby felt so surreal. When we made it home, Benjamin and Ruth were eagerly awaiting our arrival. Our little peanut of a toddler, Ruth, suddenly seemed like a giant compared to her new baby sister. The kids’ immediate obsession over their little Honey Bean was adorable. We’re 10 weeks in as I type this and she is still their favorite person. I have since tried to take them out on 1:1 dates with me, but they both keep asking to bring Margaret along on their dates. They quickly connected Margaret’s name to Daniel Tiger’s baby sister which we had anticipated wouldn’t take them long to do. We visited with my parents for a bit before they made their way back home, and then we settled into our first night together as a family of 5 humans and 2 loved pups. Cessna gets more patient with each baby we bring home and Piper is our Mama dog who doesn’t stray far from our kids when they are teeny.
