This morning contained my least favorite of all my moments since my whirlwind journey began almost four months ago. Today was the day that my co-op and I decided it would be best to break the news of my departure from Pilot Point. I can’t remember the last time I was so nervous to talk to a group of children. As they all gathered in the welcome room for our morning meeting, I didn’t think I was going to be able to go through with it.
Had my co-op not have been telling the kids about her replacement and the tutor that will be coming in January, I would have chickened out. The kids have known since the start that my co-op would not be returning, but none of them knew that I was only hired on a half year contract. The look on some of their faces when I told them won’t soon be forgotten. My third graders seemed to take it the hardest as my little girl started to cry while one boy looked away and the other got the most somber face I’ve seen on him since my time here. Another one that got to me was M, my 11th grader with whom I’ve built a strong connection with. It was rough, but I held in my own tears as I excitedly told them about their new teacher.
Once we shifted into my classroom for reading, the questions began. I was able to explain it a bit more and I think they get it, but still I am so sad to be leaving them. It made me happy to hear them asking if the new teacher would make math fun like I do, if she would have “Fluency Friday” , and if she would use the Smartboard like I do. Happy teacher moment knowing that the strategies I’ve been using with them have stuck with them. We created a list of questions to ask the new teacher before she comes and I am hoping to be able to email her this weekend. My third grader who always comes out on runs with me asked if the new teacher would go on runs too while the other asked if he could come in my suitcase. We were able to laugh as Mr. Norman asked “But what if she’s like the Trunchbull??”. Of course I then I had to promise that we'd watch Matilda before I leave (which is convenient because I just got it in the mail this weekend). I also let them know that they aren’t getting rid of me anytime soon and that I will be still Skyping in with them as often as I can.
As the day progressed, some of them would just look up at me and say “I’m going to miss you” or just give me sad eyes. It was mutual and we took a lot of time today talking about the things we want to do while I am still in Pilot Point with them. All I know is that I promised to go on a lot of runs.. When my older students joined me in the afternoon, I was able to talk to M who broke my heart when he asked if I was leaving because they “had come on too strong” to which I couldn’t have said no quicker. While this seemed to make him feel better, I think he and I will be having some more conversations in the next few weeks . By the end of the day, all of our students had seemed to grasped the reality of my co-op and I leaving. My next worry is for tomorrow once all the parents have gotten news of my leaving. I can only hope that the adults will be just as understanding as their children. Today was definitely not my favorite, but I am so relieved to have this out in the open and not worry that someone will find out before I have the chance to tell anyone.
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